Anxiety really is a bitch isn’t it. As if life isn’t hard enough already. Anxiety is like an annoying little creature sat on your shoulder trying to dictate to you what you can and can’t do, what you should be feeling, how you should react to certain situations and just generally a pain in the back side.
Lately stress levels have been heightened and of course that means anxiety through the roof. I’ve had the feeling of emptiness, that feeling that I need to do something more, be a better version of myself and do something I love for a living instead of a job that just gets you by.
Now it’s all well and good feeling these things but when it comes to putting it into action, that little annoying person anxiety is there at every turn.
Can you really do that? Are you capable of pulling that off? Are you sure that’s the right thing to do? Don’t you think you should wait for a better time?
It’s the feeling of everytime you build yourself up to take a leap, you talk yourself back down. It’s the feeling of having to literally prepare yourself for a normal everyday thing like leave the house.
People think anxiety is just something that will make you sit in the corner of the room rocking back and fourth. Although it makes you feel like that’s what you are going to do for the rest of the day you have to fight it. You have to fight with yourself, your own mind, the one thing you should be able to control, and yet you can’t.
It’s the feeling of never being understood, always feeling lost, constantly feeling like you should be doing more but never being able to let yourself.
For me it’s everytime I look in the mirror and see chunks of my hair missing and knowing yesterday wasn’t a good day because I’ve ripped out yet another chunk of hair through trying to subconciously trying to ease the stress.
It’s the fear of failure yet the lack of motivation to succeed.
It’s the panic that every minor set back feels like the world itself is going to end.
And yet you’re so misunderstood because ‘you look normal’.