More often than not you hear people talking about mums who choose to stay at home being slated for being ‘lazy’ or not wanting to provide for their families, but in reality can you blame them?
Some mums enjoy going back to work just for a few hours of sanity, some go just to afford to live, some go because they love their jobs, some people feel empowered by providing.
I always thought returning to work would be easy as soon as a routine was established, I thought I’d enjoy not being mum for a few hours (as lovely as that may be for a while)! I personally returned to work to be able to live and just seemed normal as I’ve worked ever since leaving school but I’m reality, time is being stolen from mine and my sons lives because of money.
I only work part time but it feels like a massive chunk of my time is spent away from the one person who needs me the most, and in return for that time I get enough money to be able to pay bills (lucky!!)
I don’t feel empowered at all I feel robbed. I feel anxious, I feel sorry for having to leave my baby even though I’ve been very lucky and have family to have him whilst at work. It just still doesn’t seem right that I have to leave my baby for a piece of paper a number that controls our lives.
How is feeling anxious everyday about having to leave your baby normal, how is the fear of missing out on their first moments empowering? The fear of nobody being able to settle them how you can, the frwr that they may miss you even as much as a fraction of how much you miss them!
For me I dread the countdown to leaving my baby again, I mean once I’m there I’m most of the time too busy to constantly worry but the anxiety is always still there.
I feel disempowered not being able to spend every second of the day with my baby giving him my full amount of attention and love just like he deserves but I suppose that’s one of the funny ways life works.