It’s easy as a mum to suddenly start losing your shit, you see how everyone else lives their life on a day to day basis and it looks so easy. You see all the exciting stuff people do with their kids each day or the amazing things they plan to do and you think to yourself, how do they get the bloody time to do this?
As a first time mum it’s easy to be put under a lot of pressure not even really by other people but more by yourself, your waiting for some to pull you into a meeting complete a check list to see if you’re doing things right, doing your job correctly, see where improvements can be. But in reality you’re in this alone, you’re the decision maker, you’re the boss, you’re the rule maker, it’s your job as a parent to make sure you are doing what you’re supposed to… Which is?
For weeks thing can be running smoothly you suddenly think, hell yeah I’ve got this figured out now. And then bam all of a sudden you have a clingy baby one day so you don’t get the dishes or washing done that day, the next day you’ve got a really important coffee meeting, in actually fact it’s not important at all you just need to get out of the blooming house otherwise your child is about to drive you insane. Then all of a sudden you’re beginning to lose your shit again, just by leaving the house to keep your sanity you’ve now got 3 days worth of washing up 5 loads of washing that needs to be done and probably most of them washes need to be done again because the poo stains on the brand new white vest you put baby in just isn’t budging.
Slowly everything’s beginning to feel like utter crap, it’s like 3 steps forward 3 steps back. Basically a constant battle between either showering that day or getting the cleaning done, some days not even one is an option.
And then there’s money, the greatest Bain of our lives except the population who were born with a silver spoon up their arses of course. It’s like you want to give your child everything they’ve ever wanted or deserved but the thought of leaving them to be at work is like you’re throwing valuable time away with them for material things (when in reality it’s just to be able to survive and pay the bills) the thought of returning to work gives you a gut wrenching belly ache that makes you want to be sick but some people just can’t afford not to return to work.
But most importantly every now and then we need to bring it back down a level no matter how much we feel like the world is suffocating us with this never ending expectancy of what we should do in a day when having kids, some days you can be super mum and if that’s all you ever see on social media don’t be surprised because who honestly wants to sit there and tell people how they feel like a really shitty mum today. It’s normal everyone has those days we just don’t broadcast it would make us feel that society believes were no longer supermum, we already know that ourselves on the days we don’t get a chance to do anything except brush out teeth and scrape out hair into the very typical ‘mum bun’ but we don’t want everyone else knowing too.
Sometimes you just have to admit defeat and realise in actual fact it’s impossible for any mum to be perfect at any given time, we all have our moments, we all have our pj days, we all lose our shit.
After all parenthood was never meant to be a walk in the park. It’s a journey of a lifetime but that doesn’t go to say it’s all going to easy, but it does mean it’s okay. When you’re wanting to be your best and do your best that’s all you can be for your children, your best. Not THE best.