Parenthood · Uncategorized

What to actually expect when expecting…

So pregnancy came as a bit of a shock to me, you hear people chatting about it all the time you think you know what you’re in for. You’ve heard a few of your mums stories, you made her sick you made her fat, swollen etc. This is going to be easy right?

So as they say you may feel slightly tired, this is a big fat LIE. You don’t feel tired, you feel exhausted. Here’s a better way of putting it… You feel like the walking dead who’s never had a decent nights sleep in your life. When you cat nap it turns into a 3 hour long, what century am I in kind of nap. Worst thing is you still feel ‘tired’ after.

They say ‘oh your ankles and feet might swell a little’ a little? Try going up a shoe size and those lovely comfortable pair of leggings you have slowly feel like they’re cutting off blood supply to your ankles and calves. Not only that, they forget to mention these are most definitely not the only areas that swell… Not only does your face look different your nose slowly tries to spread the whole circumference of your face and well the rest I’ll let you figure out yourself.

You’re slowly growing bigger and bigger then all of a sudden you have this huge lump, where on earth did that come from? The thing I found was it takes time to adjust your belly literally begins become the Bain of your life, you want to paint them toenails? Well then you may want to take the day off work and cancel all plans because it some what of a mission to do. Say goodbye to seeing your feet for a while! You dropped that pen? you won’t see that again you’d rather run a 100 meter sprint than attempt to bend down to grab that thing.

Another common lie, after the 12 week mark your sickness should start to go away (if you don’t/didn’t suffer morning sickness I’m very jealous, not all women do) however if you do suffer, this is also another lie. When the sickness finally does subside you then get this warm feeling in your chest, ooh what’s this? The devil of all symptoms… Heartburn! Now I can tell you this just gets worse as your pregnancy goes on but if you go by the old wives tale at least your babies going to have hair. (Another lie, although my son was born with a full head of hair) so it was totally worth it.

Now this is the thing that really got me in pregnancy, the remarks people make. You’re strolling through the high street when you bump into someone you used to go to school with, ‘aww your bump is so tiny and neat it’s so cute!’ Ahh thanks I really don’t feel that small though. Further down the street you bump into another person. Now what they’re about to say just throws you completely ‘Jesus woman where did that come from? You having twins or something?’ My simple reply was, well I bloody hope not I’ve only brought 1 set of everything. So 2 minutes ago you were tiny now you’re carrying twins, amazing that isn’t it! 

Now the funniest thing about pregnancy is when a little old lady comes up rubs your tummy and says oh how long do you have left? Now this is the mother of all times to pull this one out the bag… When you tell them you’re not actually pregnant, now they feel really guilty and are apologising you can’t leave it too long before telling them the truth as it then begins to make you feel bad. It’s funny for a about 1.2 seconds. But that 1.2 seconds are so worth it.

Now as you can probably tell pregnancy wasn’t really my thing however, they also don’t tell you the amazing things about being pregnant. Those movements and those kicks not only remind you that you are no longer alone. They don’t tell you that these feelings are the most amazing yet weirdest thing you’ll ever experience in your life. They don’t tell you the security you have knowing your baby is with you at all times, that they’re growing from you and just you. They don’t tell you that every kicks in the ribs and head butt to the bladder is one step closer to holding your creation. They don’t tell you that each kick reminds you that your baby is safe and happy where they are. 

But most importantly they don’t tell you how much of a superhuman you feel growing what was once a fertilised egg into a human, a kicking breathing, pain in the arse little human. Now let me tell you, you will never ever feel like you achieved anything more special than carrying your little baby inside you no matter how long, you created this life.

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