#1

How becoming a parent is the most heartbreaking yet proudest time of your life.

So the journey begins when you see that little line come up on a £2 test from tesco (some people push the boat out to a £18 digital, not me!) that’s it, that little line that has just appeared determines the rest of your life. Scary I know. It’s a sudden change, within a few days you start noticing your body is drained of every bit of energy it has, your baby is literally stealing all the goodness from inside you. You begin to feel flutters, people say they feel like butterflies… They’re lying they feel like you’re about to pass a hell of a lot of wind!! These flutters turn into kicks, these kicks then turn into your bladder becoming a boxing bag and your ribs feeling bruised from the precious growing alien looking thing that pops limbs out of your belly whenever bedtime arrives. Anyway eventually you are literally handed this baby when they’re born and all of a sudden you know you’re no longer number 1. They are so small and precious but most of all they’re pure and the innocence is something that reminds you at the hardest time that this child is your world and they rely solely on you. Then this is where the heartbreak sets in, your tiny newborn bundle of joy who couldn’t even lift their head is now smiling. They look at you and their whole face lights up, you know this is the real thing because you’ve already winded them 3 times, 2 of those times they puked a little in your hair. The smile is the start of the whirlwind of heartbreak, they then begin to babble, they start to giggle and blow raspberries and then all of a sudden it dawns on you… Where has my little newborn baby gone? It’s so sad the moment you realise they are becoming a tiny little human with their own personality and although they still solely rely on you, you know it’s not going to be for much longer. You begin to cherish each snuggle session that bit more, regardless of the achey wrist you still continue to feed them their bottle because when you think about it, this is all very temporary. Being a baby is temporary. Having a baby is temporary. But each time your heartbreaks because they come that little bit closer to being independent you can’t help but be the proudest person in the world, something that seems so trivial to us in our everyday life becomes amazing. My baby just smiled, how cute. My baby just burped himself… FINALLY!!! Something we do everyday of our lives yet when your child does it for the first time it’s the most amazing thing ever. And that’s how parenting is the most heartbreaking yet proudest time of your life.